


Feeling Like This, A

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/F, First Time, Humor, Pre-White House (West Wing), Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-06-14
Updated: 2008-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-31 08:14:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15115385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: "Oh no Claudia Jean, everything counts in large amounts."





	Feeling Like This, A

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

  
Author's notes: This is for indigo_inferno, who wanted to know the exact moment Abbey knew how she felt about CJ. She asked for 500 words but this is what I came up with.  


* * *

It was her laugh, plain and simple. Not the first time I heard it. Not even the second time or the fifteenth. When I heard it that evening I knew. Shivers went up my spine and I just knew. I came straight from the hospital to grab my husband. I did not want to miss our dinner reservation. He came from the back with that sheepish look on his face. I knew that look.

I already knew every word that he would say. I would not interrupt him. Jed liked to get it all out so he would not have to carry the weight of his guilt around. Better to give it to me I guess. There was something about Leo, Toby and a thing. Something about so sorry and we would have dinner tomorrow.

“No Jethro, not dinner.” I put my hands on his shoulders. “Go back in there and work hard. After you're done, I want you to look Leo in the eye and tell him you will not be available until after 12:30 tomorrow. You are sleeping in and having a late breakfast with your wife.”

“Yes doctor.”

He smiled, glad to be off the hook and still in my good graces. I kissed his lips.

“Go get ‘em, boyfriend.”

“Will you wait up for me?” he asked.

“Probably not, but I won't deck you when you try to wake me.”

I loved the way he smiled when I told him he would get some tonight. Jed walked away with pep in his step. I was standing in the middle of the floor, harried staffers rushing about and quickly greeting me, when I heard it. It sounded like the slightly off-key angel in the choir. I felt my stomach lurch forward. My feet moved toward the sound, gone in actuality but still echoing in my ears. I tapped the door and poked my head in.

“Good evening, CJ.”

“Oh, um…” she took her feet down from the desk as her magazine fell on the floor. “Good evening, Mrs. Bartlet.”

“At ease soldier.” I laughed at my own joke, coming all the way into the office. “What was that lovely sound?”

“I'm playing Sarah Brightman.” She replied. “Just taking a break in what might be a long night. The boys are huddled up so…”

“I meant the laughter.”

“What? Oh,” she laughed again but it was more subdued. She picked up the magazine. “Wendy Wasserstein in the _New Yorker_ …great work. Sometimes I wish I wrote as well as I observed.”

“When is the last time you were out on a date, CJ?” the question came out of my mouth before I could stop its crafty escape.

“What year is it?” she answered my question with one of her own.

“You’ve got one tonight. Interested?” _What the hell was I saying?_

“Yes ma'am.”

“Don’t call me ma'am…call me Abbey. It'll just be our thing.”

She smiled and I could have sworn that she blushed. That part was probably just wishful thinking. I told her that I needed to make one phone call before we left. Taking my cell phone from my Louis Vuitton clutch purse, I quickly dialed a number.

“Hello Alejandro, its Dr. Bartlet. I am so sorry for the short notice but the Governor and I will not be able to make it tonight. Yes, I am so sorry. Of course, yes, goodnight.” I push end. “Let’s go.”

CJ followed without question. To this day I am still trying to figure out why she just went with it. Another fascinating piece of the Claudia Jean puzzle. She stopped to talk to Donna Moss on the way out; I suppose she needed to tell someone that she was stepping out with Mrs. Bartlet. In a matter of moments we were in the August sunshine before being escorted to a waiting SUV. I now had a Secret Service detail of 30…I could not go half a mile down our driveway for the mail anymore without an escort. It felt so Elizabeth Taylor.

“Am I underdressed, ma…Abbey?” CJ asked.

I looked at her for a moment. She was quite stunning in simple summer makeup. Gone was the California perm and her reddish gold hair was pulled back in a fashionable bun. She wore white linen drawstring pants with a red camisole top.

“You're perfect. I may be slightly overdressed.”

“Where are you taking me?” there was a light dancing in her eyes as her whole face glowed with a smile.

“Someplace we both can be free for a couple of hours.”

“Sounds like trouble.”

“If you want it to be.” I cocked my eyebrow and she laughed.

***

Pepper’s was not technically in Manchester; it was across the county line near Hooksett. It didn’t take long to see that the Secret Service was not fond of the place. Still I did not become the head of thoracic surgery at Boston Mercy Hospital by following the rules. I did not want to be the wife of the Democratic nominee for the President of the United States tonight; I wanted to be Abbey.

“C'mon Claudia Jean,” I said climbing out of the car. “Let’s get drunk.”

“Gee, I haven’t had that invitation since the night before last.”

They seated us quickly in a small booth though I made no effort to say who I was. I was not a namedropper; I hated that kind of behavior. I'm sure they knew who I was anyway.

“What can I get you girls?” the server asked.

I ordered for the both of us and that did not bother CJ. A large order of chicken fingers, a basket of fries with bay seasoning, two vodka shots, and two bottles of Sam Adams.

“We’re letting our hair down, huh?” she asked.

“Oh yes.” I pulled the pins from my hair and shook it out. Then I unbuttoned my sleeves and rolled them up. Finally I unbuttoned the top two buttons on my light blue blouse. “You should be alright, keeping up with the boys as you do.”

“It’s not that hard. Josh and Sam are lightweights…Toby is my only competition.”

“I'm sure his drinking abilities are something to aspire to.”

“I can handle it.”

“You're a California girl, I'm sure you can.”

“Actually ma'am, I'm not exactly.”

“If you call me ma'am one more time I swear I am going to spank you.”

**HOLY HELL ABIGAIL, WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?** I searched her blue eyes, the color of the ocean, for reaction but she just smiled.

“On our first date? Hell, I should've gone out with you a long time ago.”

We were both laughing when the shots and beers arrived.

“Tell me where you're from.” I said. “Tell me everything.”

“First, a drink.” CJ held up her shot glass. “What are we drinking to?”

“Getting to know each other better.”

“Here, here.”

The vodka went down smooth and we sucked on lemons. I was impressed that CJ did not need a beer chaser. When she asked if I minded if she smoked, I said I did not. There would be another time and place for that lecture…tonight was about fun.

“So, where are you from?”

“Dayton, Ohio.” She said.

“Martin Sheen is from Dayton.”

“I knew that.”

“I used to have a serious crush on him, in the 80s.” I covered my eyes. “Am I showing my age?”

“No. Martin Sheen is quite handsome, in that friend of my father kind of way.”

“You're being a smartass.”

“Usually.”

“Well who was your first crush?”

“My best friend Kate. But that doesn’t count because I was only six when I asked her to marry me. At least she said yes. It’s the closest I have ever come to the altar. It doesn’t count though.”

“Oh no Claudia Jean, everything counts in large amounts.”

“Depeche Mode?” she raised an eyebrow. “That surprises me.”

I wanted to tell her that I was full of surprises but that was so cliché. Instead I smiled at her, asking if she was ready for the next shot.

***

She had the most magnificent giggle. If I could only remember what I said to get her to do that I would feel better. We drank tonight; we’re in that perfect drunk place that comes before getting sick. I leaned on her shoulder with my hand on top of hers as it rested on her thigh. I've convinced myself that the whole thing doesn’t excite me.

CJ sang _Jessie’s Girl_ , which was playing over the speaker in the back of the SUV. I was glad they closed the partition…we were a real sight.

“I love this song, it reminds me of home.” She said.

“Well it reminds me of _General Hospital_.”

“Oh my God!” she leapt up and our bodies came apart. She turned to me wearing a big smile. “Dr. Noah Drake, he can give me a thorough examination any day. I was one of those girls who always developed crushes on doctors.”

“I'm a doctor.”

“Uh uh.” She put her finger on my bare chest. “You're a thoracic surgeon.”

“Yes.” The skin she was touching started to tingle. 

“That’s sexy.” She laughed again. “You deal with matters of the heart.”

“So to speak.”

“Mmm.”

That was it, just mmm. I second that emotion. We made it back to the farmhouse and though CJ climbed out of the car, she looked around as if she was on Mars.

“Um, I'm staying at the Manchester Inn, Abbey.”

“Well this is the Bartlet farmhouse.”

“I know…I just…what are we…?”

“I wanted to show you something.” I slipped my hand in hers; it felt warm and soft. CJ slid her fingers into mine and I knew my heart was thumping. Matters of the heart indeed. “Do you want to see it?”

She nodded and we walked across the property. It was getting dark, almost completely but I knew the grounds like the back of my hand. The Secret Service left me alone at the farmhouse beyond the formalities, which had been my one request to Jed. So they were off to do whatever they do while I pulled CJ along.

“Is this a race? Slow down Abbey, it’s a beautiful night…let’s enjoy it. Also, as a doctor you should know that alcohol and speed don’t mix well.”

I slowed down a bit and smiled. She was right; we had time. I was in no rush for this to end. I figured Jed was still locked in a room with Leo somewhere. If he were to find us out here, it would be harmless. The things in my head were not real; no one could see them.

“Here we are.”

“The gazebo? I've seen this a million times.” A grin broke across her face. “Are there presents inside?”

“Something like that. C’mon.” I took her hand and CJ followed. I moved closer, tilting her chin up. Staying close, I felt it when she gasped.

“Oh my God Abbey, that’s incredible.”

I asked Jed to install the glass ceiling a few years before. I loved to come out there; it made me feel closer to God. Closer to everything. I came out there to think and what I thought about right now was so dangerous. We were standing closer than I had been to anyone but my husband in a long time. CJ was focused on the night sky and I on CJ.

“Answer me something Abbey.” She said as our eyes met.

“Hmm?”

“Do you kiss and tell?”

“Absolutely not.”

She took my face in her hands and her mouth captured mine. I closed my eyes, stars dancing behind my lids. Every fiber of my being tingled. I couldn’t help but grab CJ by the waist and hold her tight. The kiss ended quickly. It almost felt like a dream; I slowly drifted back to Earth but my feet never reached the ground.

“I have to go.” CJ whispered, still holding onto me.

“Don’t.”

“It was a great night…lets keep it that way.”

“I thought that’s what we were doing.”

CJ laughed, surprising me with another kiss. She acted as if it was completely normal to kiss the Governor’s wife. I, for certain, do not plan on telling her that its not. Not for anyone but the Governor anyway.

“If I stay with you…” she drifted off. “I need to sober up.”

“The driver can take you back to the inn.”

She moved away from me. I ache for one more touch but I know it won't come.

“Maybe we can do this again sometime, Claudia Jean, before you guys hit the road.”

“That would be lovely. Goodnight Abbey.”

She reached for my hand, squeezing it. I held on for a moment longer. With a smile, I kiss the inside of her wrist and commit her scent to my deepest memory.

“Goodnight.”

CJ was still smiling as she turned and headed across the grounds. I stood in the gazebo for a while before sitting down. I looked at those beautiful fireflies in the sky. A star fell and I wished on it.

“Give me that experience just one more time. I need to know if it was the booze, the stars, or pure magic. Just once more and I will know.”

Closing my eyes again, the feelings took over. I hardly remembered the last time I felt so alive. I need to find a way to feel it again; I simply need her.

***


End file.
